We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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