She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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