Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
