did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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