me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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