Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
There are leaves in my underwear?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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