You just made me feel so damn special
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
