I hope mine doesn't look like that
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
