apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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