dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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