why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
