We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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