I didn't shave. On purpose
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
