grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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