Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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