that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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