Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
