My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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