party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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