For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
