is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
well you can't waste a boner
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
