Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
