The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i permit you to call me
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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