school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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