Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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