Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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