His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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