we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
