At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
