we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
