I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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