we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
