i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
