Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
