so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
