I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
