Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
