I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
