its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
