Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom

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(972): View more from Texas

i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer

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(916): View more from California

We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.

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(702): View more from Nevada

Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.

(1-702): View more from Nevada

Yeah, but four times?

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(205): View more from Alabama

Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.

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(315): View more from New York

when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'

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(517): View more from Michigan

My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.

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