Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS