just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Randomize
