if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.