I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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