Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize