There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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