He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
