There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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