operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
