Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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