I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
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This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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