I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
