what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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