NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
