Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize