"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
