and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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