If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
