what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
