After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
