Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
