im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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