You were right. It hurts to walk today.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
