Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
