ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
ok first of all what the fuck
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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