Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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