Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
