never play flip cup with pint glasses
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
