Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
