At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
